On Managing Loneliness
I have the same conversation each week with multiple men around loneliness. It’s hard to make connections in San Francisco, friends move away for work or family, and more jobs are allowing people to work remotely following the pandemic. You want to go out and make friends but the only places that seem to be conducive to that are bars and restaurants. This can work for some people, but it seems like there are fewer opportunities for people who don’t want to have a “brat summer,” (or don’t even know what that means). It becomes harder to feel like you belong in the community when you don’t fit into the options available, and you start to feel helpless and lonely.
Loneliness isn’t exclusive to the men I work with in San Francisco. In 2024 the World Health Organization started an international commission to explore the impacts of loneliness, declaring it a public health crisis. The US Surgeon General reports that the health risks of social isolation are comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day, and research indicates that chronic loneliness can increase the risk of developing dementia by about 50% for older adults. Research also indicates that men are more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors when they experience loneliness and low social support. This trend continues to be monitored and is increasingly alarming, especially for LGBTQ+ communities.
So how do we reduce loneliness?
In conversations with colleagues, we’ve found therapy groups can be a helpful space to build community with others and make connections with people who understand our experiences. This led to the idea of starting a group for men ages 50+ to support with addressing the challenges queer men experience at this stage of life. Below are some of the goals and topics that will be discussed in the new group.
Addressing Isolation
Isolation is a common challenge, especially for older gay men who might lack a strong support system. Group therapy fosters a sense of belonging and connection, reducing feelings of isolation by bringing together individuals who understand each other's experiences and can provide meaningful support to each other.
Coping with Aging and Health Issues
Aging brings its own set of challenges, including health concerns. Group therapy offers a platform to discuss these issues, share experiences, and learn how others manage their health. This shared knowledge and support can be empowering and beneficial for overall well-being.
Navigating Relationships and Sexuality
Relationships and sexuality can be complex areas for gay men, especially those of us who have faced stigma or limited opportunities for expression. Group therapy offers a non-judgmental environment to explore these topics, share experiences, and build confidence in forming and maintaining relationships.
Fostering Self-Acceptance and Pride
Many older gay men struggle with internalized negative attitudes about their sexuality, often rooted in social stigmas from the communities they grew up in. Group therapy helps challenge these beliefs, fostering greater self-acceptance and pride in one's identity. Affirmation from peers can be incredibly uplifting, boosting self-esteem and self-worth.
Rediscovering Purpose
Changes in career, living situation, and family relationships over time can sometimes lead to a sense of purposelessness. Group therapy can help individuals rediscover their passions and interests, providing a sense of direction. Sharing goals and aspirations within the group can inspire action and personal growth.
Reach out to us today to get connected with our mens groups and feel connected with your community! The 50+ Men’s Group will be starting later this summer, led by Andre Jackson, AMFT at our San Francisco office.
